Your Kid Will Lose. That's the Point.

A parent pulled me aside after class a few months ago. He wanted to know how to make sure his son treated grappling “like a martial art and not just two kids play-wrestling in the backyard.”

I told him: it should be two kids play-wrestling in the backyard.

He wasn’t happy with that answer. But I meant it.

Loving the game comes first

Here’s the thing about skill development that doesn’t get said enough: if your kid doesn’t love doing this, nothing else matters. No amount of technique, discipline, or serious training will make up for a kid who stopped wanting to be there.

If you want your kid to make grappling a lifelong pursuit, treat it like a fun game. If you want your kid to get good at grappling, treat it like a fun game. These are the same answer.

Loving the game is the prerequisite. Everything else comes after.

Don’t coach from the sidelines

I know you want to help. I’ve watched hundreds of parents watch their kids grapple. The ones who coach from the sidelines fall into two camps: those coaching their kid to win, and those telling them to behave and pay attention. Both do more harm than they realize.

When you coach from the sidelines, you’re framing every moment as a performance to be evaluated. Every roll becomes a test. That’s not what the gym is for. We’re here for skill development, not results.

There’s something else it does: it takes away the problem-solving. The whole point of a grappling game is that your kid is figuring something out. When you call out what to do next, you short-circuit that process. We want adaptive problem solvers. We don’t want kids who wait to be told what to do.

Kids who feel pressure to win stick with what they already know. They stop experimenting. They get defensive and careful. Kids who feel free to explore and fail improve dramatically faster. Pressure kills exploration.

The discomfort you feel watching your child struggle is the same discomfort they need to learn to sit with. If you can’t tolerate watching them lose a round, they won’t learn to tolerate it either. That’s not a lesson you want them to skip.

What I’ve noticed over the years

I’ll be honest with you: kids whose parents stay for every single class tend to do worse over time. Not because the parents are bad. Because the kids are performing instead of playing.

The best thing you can do is drop them off, go get a coffee, and come back when class ends. When you pick them up, ask about what was fun. Ask what they tried. Don’t ask who won.

What we’re actually building here

Our youth programs are designed around character development first and grappling skill second.

Little Lions (ages 4-7) is weighted heavily toward physical literacy, social skills, and fun. No submissions. Lots of movement games. The goal is to get kids comfortable being physical with each other, learning to take turns, and falling without fear.

Golden Tigers (ages 7-13) adds more structure and live sparring as kids are ready for it. They’re learning real grappling now. They’ll win rounds and lose rounds. Both are part of the curriculum.

Across both programs, what we’re measuring is effort, partnership, emotional growth, and whether your kid is a good training partner. Not wins. Not belt promotions. Not how many techniques they can name.

Grappling teaches kids something that almost nothing else does: how to fail in real time, in front of someone else, and keep going. That lesson is worth more than any submission they’ll ever learn.

Come see it for yourself

If you’re in the Golden, CO area and want to watch a class before signing your kid up, you’re welcome to. We’d rather you see how we run things than try to explain it.

Your kid’s first class is free. No gear needed.

Book a free trial class